Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling is an often over looked part of the engagement process, but it can be a very beneficial experience if approached correctly.  In order to benefit from premarital counseling, couples need to identify and confront some of the misconceptions they may have about it.  Let us explore some of the more common misconceptions about premarital counseling and ways couples can get beyond them.

Go straight to our recommended online pre marital counseling course here

We don’t have any problems. Premarital counseling is not about solving any problems, but rather catching them before they start.  And with one out of two marriages ending in divorce, it’s this preventive measure that makes premarital counseling so effective, and crucial.

One of the biggest mistakes that most engaged couples make is putting off premarital counseling until the last minute.   They wait until the cake has been ordered, the wedding dress altered, and the invitations mailed before they book an appointment for premarital counseling.

Couples underestimate the value of premarital counseling for a variety of reasons:  a) they do not want to ruin the high spirits brought on by being engaged, b) they do not have any problems, and feel that they can breeze through the sessions, and c) they’re afraid of what they might find out.

Premarital counseling isn’t meant to sink young lover’s boats; it’s quite the opposite.  Premarital counseling sessions want you to succeed – by letting you know about issues you might have come up in the future, and allowing you a safe, and neutral platform to ask questions and voice your concerns.

We don’t subscribe to any religion. Some couples confuse pre-marital counseling as a religious seminar, like the pre-cana seminars given by the Catholic Church.  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Pre-marital counseling isn’t about religion; it’s about preparing yourself for married life. While certain religions, such the Catholic or Protestant church, require or sponsor pre-marital counseling, it is not restricted to any one belief.

Most sessions—whether conducted by a church or a therapist– are grounded in psychological facts.  Counselors present you with real life situations that you may encounter as a married couple, and the tools you will need to handle them.

There are a lot of institutions that offer pre-marital counseling outside of a church.  Some family and couples therapists offer sessions to unmarried couples, including those who are thinking of getting engaged.  In fact, there are those who specialize on pre-marital counseling, regardless of what denomination you are.

There are also several great websites that can be self-directive, wherein you follow a structured program developed by professionals, at your own pace. Or you can choose to have sessions, via chat or voice, with a licensed professional, just as you would in person.  Costs vary between program types and professionals, but they are generally cheaper than physically attending an appointment.  I have reviewed Save My Marriage today and well the title of the program suggest that it is for married couples I have found it to be a fantastic pre marital course giving you the tools needed to have a successful marriage.

But we’re already living together. Couples who are living together can still benefit from pre-marital counseling.  Why?  Because living together and being married are two very different things.

It’s one thing to know how to manage your checkbook together, and quite another when you’re faced with the reality that your partner is entitled to half of what you make—no questions asked.

Living together is a lot like dating: the goal is to get to see how well you get along together.  The only difference with living in is that you happen to share the same address and household bills.  If you don’t get along, you have the option of walking away, with nothing but a broken heart to complicate the matter.

Marriage, on the other hand, is more than just a promise to stay together forever.  It is a legally binding entity that signs away half of what you own.  Unromantic as it may seem, it is a truth that most couple’s living together often overlook.

Pre-marital counseling forces you to look at a life of ever-after, and ask questions of what you’re going to do when things are worse instead of better.  It allows you to ask questions and raise worries, in a safe, and moderated environment.

So while premarital counseling is an often misunderstood step in a couples progress, it can be a very beneficial experience if approached from the correct mindset. For this reason, couples should take it seriously, look at what it has to offer, and try to get beyond their often inaccurate notions of what it is all about.